Oh, this is a question I often SCREAM at myself. One thing cause this, I let food become my comfort, my joy, my escape from reality. I had horrible relationships and I let food become my escape. Somewhere I allowed the fat to take over and the skinny girl got lost inside. Now, that skinny girl is trying to ESCAPE! I honestly have a great life now and only one thing depresses me...the dreaded mirror. When I see myself I hate myself! So, I turn to food for comfort. Well, that has to stop!
Fortunately my husband met me when I was already FAT and he fell in love with me anyway. So, I am happy to find security in the fact I know he does love me unconditionally. However, since I feel so ugly and self conscious he has never met the completely happy person that LOVES life. I feel so sad to think about the fact he has NO IDEA what I like to wear. He can't buy me presents because he doesn't really know my style. I don't dress to look great for him... I wear the darkest stuff I can find because I am so fat. Anything to make myself look like I might be 5 pounds smaller. So, I want to introduce him to that amazingly confident skinny girl that is dying to get out of this fat body!!!! I want to wear pretty lingerie like I used to. I always had great bra and panty sets...now it's "boulder holders" and granny panties... BLAH! Yes, I know Lane Bryant has great lingerie but I don't feel sexy in it so I won't wear it. I know some people are comfortable in their bigger bodies... me NOT SO MUCH!!! The skinny girl is trying to escape!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
No comments:
Post a Comment